60 Fatigue

After an amazing Christmas break, I returned home with a long list of jobs to do and people to see before I have to go back to work next week.  So far I’ve been able to tick very few items off my list, as a bout of energy-sapping fatigue has gradually crept up on me.  

Yesterday, I planned to go to the cinema in the afternoon with Niamh, then to a local pub with a friend, to see another friend, singing with her band.  When I woke up, I realised I didn’t have enough spoons to get through both, so I cancelled my evening out and had a lovely afternoon at the cinema followed by a quiet evening at home. 

This morning I awoke after 9 hours sleep, feeling exhausted and heavy.  My feet and lower legs feel cold and dead.  After struggling for a few hours, I cancelled my plans for the day and went back to bed.

I hate the way this disease is robbing me of being able to do what I want and of time with people I care about.  I am comfortable with my own company, I really don’t mind being on my own, but I’m also a sociable person and my friends and family are important to me.  

One of the things I have done to help me cope with bouts of fatigue is to reduce my hours at work, so when the new term starts I will be working 4 days a week instead of 5.  I’m a bit concerned about how this will work out financially, but I’m hopeful I’ll manage and it should give me more time to rest, to see friends and do all the other things I need to do.  

I wouldn’t usually wish to link to the Daily Mail, but they have written a piece on Caroline Wyatt and her experience with HSCT.  The piece also refers to the sad death of Nyta Mann, a BBC political editor who chose a different route when MS took over her life.

How two BBC stars took different paths dealing with MS

Spoon theory

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51 A bit more about HSCT

In my quest to find out more about HSCT and decide whether it is the right option for me, I have spent a lot of time reading accounts of other people’s experiences.

Thankfully there are many people who have shared their experiences of treatment and their recovery through blogs, videos, Facebook pages and discussions in online support groups.

There are a couple of recurring themes I have come across.  In terms of halting MS and improving symptoms, there seems to be a wide range of outcomes – from huge life changing improvements to very little change at all.  The vast majority see the progression of their disease stopped and it is important to remember that this is the aim of the treatment.  HSCT doesn’t “cure” MS but there’s a good chance it can put it in remission.  At the moment, this would be a dream come true for me!

For a few people, the disease isn’t stopped by HSCT and their MS progression continues.  Despite this, I have come across very few people who regret having HSCT and a very rare one or two who are thinking of having HSCT for a second time!

I think, because it feels as if MS has taken control of your life, it can feel empowering to be doing something to fight back and not give in to that control.  The most common regret I see expressed by those who have had HSCT is that they didn’t have it sooner, before accumulating as much damage.

Last week, The Times published an updated personal account written by BBC correspondent, Caroline Wyatt, of her progress and recovery from HSCT.

If only we could all look this cool with a walking stick!

Caroline has had a mixed recovery and says this about where she is now…

“Nearly two years after my stem cell transplant, I’m back to where I started. Yet curiously, I am also more at peace with myself, with my life and with multiple sclerosis.”

You can read her full account here (you will need to provide your name and email address in order to read the full article – it’s quick and easy and there is no commitment).

It is an inspirational, highly personal, honest account and many of us in the world of MS/HSCT are grateful to her for talking openly about her experiences …

Caroline Wyatt: multiple sclerosis and my stem cell transplant, The Times, November 17 2018

Many MSers recovering from HSCT feel that their recovery isn’t complete until 3 or 4 years after treatment, so there is hope that Caroline could see further improvements.

Caroline wrote an earlier account of her treatment at Clinic Ruiz in Mexico, which can be read here …

Caroline Wyatt: How I’m feeling after my MS ‘body reboot’, BBC, March 22nd 2018

You can follow Caroline on Twitter @CarolineWyatt

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