140 Big Decision – HSCT is no longer for me

On 16th March 2020, I should have been flying to Moscow for a month long hospital stay to receive HSCT, in the hope that this would halt the progression of my multiple sclerosis.  During March 2020, the whole world gradually went into lockdown due to COVID 19 and on the Thursday before I was due to depart, my flights and treatment were cancelled. 

Before this, I’d spent the previous two years preparing for my trip … fundraising, making arrangements for post HSCT care, arranging time off work, preparing to make my home as germ free as possible, losing weight, eating well and mentally preparing for my treatment and recovery.  I felt positive, determined, relatively healthy and as ready as I could be.  HSCT was the main focus of my life.  

It was devastating for everything to be cancelled at the last minute and I must admit, the weeks and months after that were a struggle. At the time, like everyone, I believed the new situation would last for just a few weeks or months, at the most, and I was determined to get my treatment plan back on track as soon as possible. 

As time went on, I began to realise that this new situation was going to last much longer than we all expected.  I also began to worry about having a treatment that virtually eliminates the immune system, during a worldwide viral pandemic.  Once travel became possible again, the clinic in Russia reopened and was soon treating patients from all over the world as before. 

On 24th February 2022, Russian forces invaded neighbouring Ukraine and there has been ongoing military action there since, with many of Ukrainian people brutally killed and many thousands more displaced, losing their homes and the lives they once knew.  The rest of the world initiated sanctions on Russia (and Belarus), including restricting financial transactions and travel.  The clinic in Russia has continued to treat patients, with most travelling via Turkey and paying by use of complex international banking arrangements.  I have no reason to distrust anyone working at the hospital, but would not feel it ethically acceptable for me to pay money into the Russian economy, or to travel there at the moment.  By this I mean, I don’t have any criticism of those who are still seeking treatment in Russia, but I don’t believe it would be right for me. 

There are two hospitals in Mexico, with an excellent reputation for providing HSCT for international patients and these would certainly be an option for me if I wanted to proceed; the biggest draw backs being higher cost and further distance to travel.

There is much discussion in the world of HSCT about which patients are the best candidates for successful outcomes.  It seems that some of the key factors are age; time since disease onset; disease type; presence/absence of current inflammation in the brain and/or spinal cord and EDSS (this is not an exhaustive list).  Some of those for whom treatment isn’t successful, actually become more unwell following HSCT and there is a connection between these risk factors and mortality rates too. 

From 7 things you need to know about HSCT | Multiple Sclerosis Society UK

Age … HSCT seems to be most effective in people who are treated when younger. There are people who have received HSCT well into their 60s or 70s, but evidence seems to show that those in their 20s, 30s and 40s people are more likely to have successful outcomes. The upper age limit for the STAR-MS trial ongoing in the UK is 55. my current age is 57.

Time Since Disease Onset … Evidence shows that HSCT is most effective for those in the early stages of the disease, with 10 years often quoted as the upper limit.  Calculating the length of time since disease onset is much more difficult than it would appear.  I was diagnosed in 2017, but my first known symptoms were in 2011.  I had various health problems and unusual symptoms for a number of years before this and it’s possible that multiple sclerosis was the culprit. 

Disease Type … I was initially diagnosed with RRMS (Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis) and this is known to be the “type” of MS that is most likely to respond well to HSCT.  This presents as periods of disease activity with periods of remission, during which symptoms may subside or even disappear.  Over time, many of those with RRMS transition to SPMS (Secondary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis) where there is a slow general increase in symptoms with no periods of remission and no recovery from symptoms.  It is difficult to pinpoint the time of transition from RRMS to SPMS and the diagnosis is usually made retrospectively.  My neurologist believes I am now secondary progressive with superimposed relapses, although these are becoming less frequent.  I take this to mean that I am transitioning to SPMS. 

Presence/Absence of Inflammation in the Brain and/or Spinal Cord … HSCT is thought to work by reducing inflammation in the central nervous system and acting on the process that would cause future inflammation.  In SPMS, it is less likely for there to be ongoing inflammation, with symptoms caused by previously incurred damage to the brain and spinal cord and the body’s reduced ability to compensate for this as we get older.  My last MRI (July 2021) showed no ongoing inflammation and no new lesions.

EDSS … Disability in MS is measured using the EDSS (Expanded Disability Status Scale) and although there is much criticism and discussion about the appropriateness of this system, it is still used by hospitals providing HSCT.  For the clinic in Russia, the upper EDSS limit is 6, although the hospital in Mexico will consider those with a higher EDSS.  Two years ago, my EDSS was 6, however, I think there is a possibility that it is now 6.5.  Those with a lower EDSS are more mobile, are likely to be more active and generally in better health, making treatment and recovery a little easier. 


I’ve been thinking about all of the above over the last months, had discussions with various friends and family members and have reached the difficult conclusion that HSCT is no longer for me.  It has been a tough decision to make and I wanted to give myself time and to feel sure that it is the right one for me.  I still believe that HSCT is an amazing, life changing, treatment for many and there is much hope for MS patients in the future.  Basically, I feel timing is all wrong for me and I no longer feel it is my best option.  

This decision leads me to thinking about how to manage the funds that were raised and that so many friends, family and strangers contributed to. The source of these funds falls into 4 main categories and I am proposing dealing with them as follows:

  • Donations from individuals … give donors the choice of where this money goes (return, AIMS or other medical expenses).
  • Money raised via events and sponsored activities … use for other medical expenses.
  • Money raised selling jewellery and other items previously owned by my mum … use to fund a family get together (this is what we originally planned for this money but my family kindly donated it to my fund).
  • My own savings … return to my own bank account. 

If you have contributed in any way to these funds, please do let me know if you have a view on this.  Thank you to the various friends and family who have already given me a chance to talk this through with them. Whatever is decided, full details will be published here and on the GoFundMe page.

I have mentioned other medical expenses above and I thought I’d explain a little about what I mean by that. 

At the moment, I pay for CBD and for one of my thyroid medications that is not available on the NHS.  I hope to try LDN and Ampyra in the future; both are only available by private prescription in England.  Being chronically ill is very expensive!

My chariot

In November, I purchased my rollator (henceforth known as my “chariot”) as such equipment is not provided by the NHS.  I bought a relatively cheap one, as I was unsure of how useful it would be to me.  In fact, it has proved to be very useful and has kept me walking at times that would have been beyond me with just a walking stick or trecking poles.  Now that I’ve  had some experience, I realise that the specifications of my chariot are not ideal for me and I will need to buy a more suitable one in the future.  

I am also now thinking about a mobility scooter and these are very expensive.  I realise that it is really important to me to retain as much independence as possible and to be able to go out and about and do as I please. A mobility scooter may help provide this.  

In addition I find myself considering private neurology, physio therapy and orthotics assessments in order to get the best possible advice on how to manage my MS and symptoms.  Currently I have a 10 minute appointment with my neurologist once a year and I have been on waiting lists for physiotherapy and orthotics since April 2020.  My MS Nurse has retired and despite making numerous phone calls, I am still awaiting an appointment with her replacement.  My mobility has deteriorated markedly since 2020 and I’m becoming worried that I will soon be beyond any activity or devices that could help me to make the most of life.

In redistributing the funds we have raised, I want to ensure I am completely open and transparent about where the money goes and what it is used for.  I’d like to help others who may benefit from HSCT and I’d like to try all I can to stay as well as possible for as long as I can, even if HSCT is no longer the route towards that for me. 

I want to make it clear that I have made this decision for me (with help from family and friends) and I know it is the right decision.  I am not a neurologist or expert in MS, just a person doing their best to manage their disease.  If you have MS, I don’t want my decision to influence any decision you make for yourself.  I also point out that the points listed above, that influenced my decision, are just my interpretation of my situation, following much reading and research over the last few years.  I know the situation is not simple and that I will have got things wrong.  Please do your own reading and research before making a decision for yourself.  I have added some useful links below, as a starting point.

I hope no one is disappointed that I have made this decision, particularly those who have supported me and given your time and money towards helping me.  I will be forever grateful for all the love and support I have received since I began considering HSCT.

You are all amazing 💙💚

If you have made it to the end of this post, thank you and well done! (I know its rather long and not that interesting!).

Links

AIMS https://www.aimscharity.org/

UK HSCT Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/groups/ukhsct/?ref=sharehttps://www.facebook.com/groups/ukhsct/?ref=share&exp=7ffb

HSCT in Russia https://hsct-russia.com/

HSCT Mexico http://hsctmexico.com/ms_landing.php?gclid=CjwKCAjwzeqVBhAoEiwAOrEmzX2kJsjxXJBz_WCaB7XlZvP_jTFRg2cR3ckB9b1LS5viDFw47V8ZtBoCXMQQAvD_BwE

EDSS https://mstrust.org.uk/a-z/expanded-disability-status-scale-edss

GoFundMe https://www.gofundme.com/f/another-ms-warrior

CBD (Please search CBD Brothers)

LDN https://ldnresearchtrust.org/what-is-low-dose-naltrexone-ldn

Ampyra/Fampridine https://mstrust.org.uk/a-z/fampridine-fampyra

72 TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms)

I work for the VST as a TLC alongside some ESWs. We work with LAC (or CLA) and we are always ready to provide a quick response to NIC.  I have particular responsibility for EY LAC  and we have regular contact with professionals from CSC, SEN and BSS.  Acronyms are everywhere! 

The world of MS has them too, although most are FLA!  I thought I’d share a post about some of the acronyms and vocabulary used in MS. 

MS – Multiple Sclerosis

CIS – Clinically Isolated Syndrome: A single attack (or “Sclerosis”).  Many with MS are diagnosed with this following their first attack or relapse.  For some reason, I was initially diagnosed with two episodes of CIS (which seems somewhat contradictory to the meaning of the word “isolated”!).

RRMS – Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis: MS which is characterised by attacks or relapses alternating with periods of stability.  Some neurologists argue that! with MS, there really is no period of remission, therefore using the word “Remitting” is misleading.  I am currently recorded as having RRMS.

RMS – Relapsing MS: Being used by some neurologists instead of RRMS

PPMS – Primary Progressive MS: a presentation of MS characterised by continuous progression, with no relapses or periods of remission.  10-15% of new diagnoses of MS are of PPMS. 

SPMS – Secondary Progressive MS: around 50-80% of those initially diagnosed with RRMS will become secondary progressive at a later stage.  I recently asked my neurologist if I was secondary progressive and he replied “well, you’re certainly on your way there”.

https://youtu.be/CgQfI0ZFvoo

MRI – Magnetic Resonance Imaging: used to view the health of the brain and spinal cord to aid diagnosis and monitor progression of MS.

DMT / DMD – Disease Modifying Therapy / Disease Modifying Drug (These terms seem to be used interchangeably so I assume they have the same meaning)

NEDA – No Evidence of Disease Activity (what we’re all aiming for!)

HSCT – Haematopoietic Stem Cell Transplant

AHSCT – Autologous Haematopoietic Stem Cell Transplant: an Autologous Transplant is one in which the recipient’s own tissues are returned to the body.  Allogenic describes transplants where tissue is donated by another.  Allogenic Stem Cell Transplant is considered far too risky as a treatment for MS. 

CNS – Central Nervous System: the brain and spinal cord

CSF – Cerebral Spinal Fluid: This is the fluid that surrounds the brain and spinal cord.  CSF is extracted during a lumbar puncture (or spinal tap) and can be tested and examined in a number of ways.  Most people diagnosed with MS have “Oligoclonal Bands” present in the CSF at a higher level than in the blood.  I had a lumbar puncture in 2017 which identified the presence of oligoclonal bands and confirmed my MS diagnosis. 

PwMS – People with MS

NICE – National Institute for Health and Care Excellence 

EBV – Epstein-Barr Virus: A common virus that causes glandular fever. I have included this as there is growing evidence that exposure to EBV may be a contributing factor to developing Ms for some. 

EDSS – Expanded Disability scaled Score: Used to measure disability in MS. A recent neurologist letter records my EDSS as 6, however I feel it is nearer 5.

TTFN xx

GoFundMe

66 Current symptoms

I have been advised to record an audit of my current symptoms, so here it is! I’m going to use the symptom list from the NHS website as headings:

Fatigue

I experience fatigue often. I still manage to work 4 days per week but find this exhausting.  I am no longer able to do everything I want to do and I need to ration my energy and allocate recovery time. I avoid doing anything after work and have had to cancel several social commitments.

Vision Problems

Thankfully I don’t have any MS related vision problems. 

Numbness and Tingling

This is an everyday problem for me, in fact I haven’t had a day without numbness and tingling for over 2 years. I get this in both feet and legs and sometimes in my left hand and it is noticeably worse when I’m cold. My left foot in particular feels like a cold, dead, heavy weight on the end of my leg!

Muscle Spasms, Stiffness and Weakness

This is also an everyday problem for me.  My legs are stiff and painful, especially when I get up in the morning or after sitting for a while.  Basically, when I stand up, I’m never quite sure what my legs are going to do!  I sometimes have spasms and twitching in my left leg.  I know I am much weaker than I used to be (but this is partly due to me being less active).  I have noticeable weakness in one side of my left hand .

Mobility Problems

There are lots of things that contribute to my mobility problems – issues with balance, spasticity (stiffness), weakness, numbness and lacking confidence all contribute.  I feel much safer when using a walking stick, especially on uneven or sloping surfaces.  My EDSS (expanded Disability Status Scale) score was assessed as 4 by my neurologist in June 17 and as 6 in November 2018. It was just 1.5 twelve months prior to this.  I’m not sure that I agree it is 6 now as although I require assistance for walking, I can still walk on flat uneven surfaces unaided.

EDSS

Pain

I have some nerve pain on the left side of my body.  During my last relapse, this was particularly painful (I’m told it feels like shingles pain) – thankfully it has faded to manageable levels, though has never disappeared.  The spasticity in my legs is painful at times. 

Problems with Thinking, Learning and Planning

In the MS world this is known as Cognitive Fog or Brain Fog.  I know I have this, although it is very hard to assess or measure.  

Depression and Anxiety

It is very difficult to NOT be depressed and anxious when you have MS!

Bladder Problems

Thankfully I don’t have bladder problems.  During my last relapse I had a common problem experienced by people with MS where I knew I needed to go but couldn’t! This is caused by damage to the spinal cord in the area that leads to the bladder, so the message from the brain doesn’t get through.  Luckily this wasn’t permanent, but it remains one of the things I most worry about as my MS progresses. 

Bowel Problems

Thankfully I don’t have bowel problems.

Speech and Swallowing Problems 

I don’t have swallowing problems and my speech problems are limited to sometimes being unable to recall a word for something (linked to brain fog rather than a speech problem).  About 4 years ago I had a period of slight slurring and was aware this was linked to the way the left side of my face and mouth moved.

Balance

For some reason balance isn’t on the NHS list, yet it is a very common problem for people with MS. My balance has got steadily worse over the last 18 months.  

Additional symptoms added 18.01.19.

3 Falling down

At the moment, my worst MS symptom is loss of balance – this makes life very interesting and stressful in equal measure.  I am continually bumping into things, falling over and can barely walk through a doorway without bouncing off the sides! I seem to be covered in scrapes and bruises but so far, have thankfully managed to avoid serious injury.  I’ve had one embarrassing incident when a very tiny elderly gentleman helped me to me feet and I had to try very hard not to pull him over.  Yesterday I managed to crash on my derrière right outside my front door  (lots of padding there, so I was fine!). So if you see me staggering about, weaving from side to side and occasionally holding on to things, I (probably) haven’t been on the gin and am just having one of my wobbly days.
Disability in MS is measured using the Expanded Disability Status Scale.  My neurologist has put me at 4 (from 2 just 12 months earlier).