MS Nurse – Another MS Warrior

129 What’s happening with my MS?

Hello dear readers, I’m sorry for neglecting you of late. Today is my 66th day in lockdown and as everything is on hold, there really isn’t much to report!

I’ve had lots of messages and questions from family and friends about how my MS is affecting me at the moment and my plans for treatment, so I thought I’d write a bit of an update.

Over the last few weeks, I have had telephone appointments with my GP, an occupational therapist, a physiotherapist, my neurologist in Salford and with the neurology team in Sheffield. My long awaited appointment with the MS Nurse has been delayed as she has been redeployed due to the pandemic.

The situation with Professor Sharrack in Sheffield is that he believe that I have Secondary Progressive MS with superimposed relapses. This would exclude me from their criteria for HSCT treatment there. They would like me to have a further MRI scan, which they will compare with the previous one, before making a final decision. At the moment, the hospital is not carrying out routine scans, so this is likely to be on hold for several weeks/months/who knows?!

My own neurologist is very concerned about the length of time I have been without treatment and would like me to try another DMT (Disease Modifying Therapy). He understands why I am pursuing HSCT but feels that it won’t be safe to travel for treatment for quite some time (a year or more was mentioned) and would like me to be protected from further relapses during this time. So I have agreed to try Tecfidera. This is taken in tablet form and reduces both the frequency and severity of relapses. My neurologist thinks I am having lots of mini relapses, so hopefully this drug will reduce them.

You can read more about Tecfidera here … MS Trust – Tecfidera

Regular blood tests are required when taking Tecfidera, including an initial test to check liver and kidney function, full blood count and diabetes status. So, last week I went to Salford Royal Hospital for the test. It was a very strange experience, having not left my local area for weeks and only occasionally driving around the block.

The hospital was eerily quiet and no one seemed to be wearing a mask, except me! I was asked some COVID questions and had my temperature taken on arrival (by a man not wearing a mask) and several vials of blood were quickly taken (by a nurse who was wearing a mask).

I have also been prescribed a drug that may help with my debilitating fatigue and brain fog and started it this week. It takes a few weeks to begin to take effect, so fingers crossed it works for me ??The drug is called Amantadine and is an antiviral which has been found to help 1 or 2 people in 5 with MS fatigue, although the mechanism for this is not known. It is sometimes used to treat people with Parkinson’s Disease as well.

you can read more about Amantadine here … MS Trust – Amantadine

I am still off work and my GP would like me to stay off until both new drugs have had a chance to kick in. I have very mixed views on this … some days I feel that I could manage work (at home of course) and on other days it feels like an impossibility. Being at home has given me lots of time to think and come to the realisation that I need to make some changes in the long term (whether I eventually have HSCT or not) …I have no idea yet, what those changes might be.

I have been continuing on my daily walk most days and some days this has been quite a struggle, as my left leg tends to drag and can often feel like a heavy, dead weight by the time I’ve walked a few hundred yards. A couple of weeks ago, I developed a severe muscular pain in the right side of my lower back. I spoke to my Occupational Therapist about this and after much discussion, she worked out what was causing this problem. Most of the time, I wear flat ankle boots when out and about, as I find these comfortable and benefit from the ankle support, especially on my left foot. When the warmer weather arrived, I started wearing flat lace up pumps and was aware that my left foot was dragging and would sometimes catch on the ground. The OT worked out that I was leaning slightly to the right in order to accommodate my dropping left foot and that this was the source of my back pain … how amazing is she?! So I have now been provided with a device to help lift my left foot, which should reduce tripping risk and take the pressure off my back.

It’s ugly and a little uncomfortable, but I’m going to persevere with it. If it keeps me mobile, who knows, I may grow to love it!

A combination of Tiger Balm, hot water bottle and gentle movement has healed my back pain, so I’m back on my feet again.

I hope you are all staying as safe and well as you possibly can ?

128 Where am I up to?

Isolation day 47 and I can no longer remember my old life! This has been the strangest few weeks any of us have ever known and I think it’s beginning to take its toll. What did I used to eat? Does the rest of the world still exist? What’s the cat trying to tell me?

I’ve had numerous conversations with friends and acquaintances who are experiencing sleeplessness, exhaustion and nightmares! I don’t often remember my dreams, but I sure do know how they are making me feel at the moment. I’m waking up most nights (that’s after spending a good couple of hours tossing and turning trying to fall asleep in the first place) feeling panicky, scared and stressed after a bad dream. Apparently we use our dreams to process our thoughts and feelings, so if you consider how much change we are now living with, it’s not surprising we have a lot of anxious thoughts to process! I hope someone is doing a study of this somewhere, as it’s actually quite fascinating ?

I sometimes use a meditation App called Calm, to help me relax and to get off to sleep. I’m still using it, but even that isn’t quelling my general anxiety. It is quite comforting to find that lots of us are experiencing this difficulty at the moment, but I do worry about how this will impact us in the long run.

As well as dealing with life in lockdown, missing family and friends, worrying about loved ones and about the planet and wondering whether Vodka can really be classed as an “essential item”, I am also experiencing an upturn in my MS symptoms, as well as the disappointment and implication of the cancelling of my treatment.

I’m not going to talk much about my MS issues here, as I plan to log a full inventory of my current symptoms in another blog post at a later date.

As you know, I was all geared up to fly to Moscow on 16th March, to stay for a month to have HSCT to treat my MS. It was a long and difficult journey just to get to that point – 2 years of fundraising, lots of stress, visa applications, flights booked then changed and lots to prepare for my time in Russia, my journey home and making the house safe for my return. When anyone mentioned a time in 2020 that was beyond the 16th March, it didn’t really exist in my head. My whole life was geared up to getting there and getting it done! ??

It was Thursday 12th March when I heard that the hospital was having to put new restrictions in place, which ultimately led to me postponing my treatment. It was a really tough decision but ultimately it was the right one. If I’d gone to Russia, I might not have been able to get home and My COVID fear would have been through the roof. Life may be challenging now, but at least I’m safe as I can be, in my little house with my 2 crazy cats.

Luckily my flights were cancelled by the airline, so I should be able to get my money back … I’ve been trying to get through to them for 7 weeks now, with no success (unless you count sitting in a 2 hour telephone queue success). I’m hoping that will all got sorted out eventually.

I had already sent the payment to the hospital for my treatment, a complicated international money transfer, but there was a delay in it getting there, due to everywhere beginning to shut down around that time. It arrived eventually and the hospital sent it straight back, but it hasn’t got to me yet. I’m told it’s somewhere in transit and not to worry (but of course, I do!).

I had to let my GP know that I was still at home, then my neurologist and the team in Sheffield. I am due for a further MRI scan in Sheffield as soon as it is safe to travel there. Theoretically there is still a very slim chance I could be accepted for treatment there, so it’s certainly worth me pursuing this.

I had a neurologist appointment in Salford booked for the 5th May and an MS nurse appointment at Stepping Hill booked for the 28th April. I was notified that both would be telephone appointments and then later notified they were cancelled. I’ve had a new neurologist appointment arranged for April 2021!!

Chronic illness is an area where our health system struggles. Most of the neurology team that I have met are hardworking, dedicated experts in their field, but they are so poorly funded and have to spread themselves so thin, that they struggle to provide an adequate service. Phoning and demanding to be seen usually works, but it shouldn’t be this way and I find it exhausting and frustrating.

I went back to work around the time that lock down was beginning and was working from home. At first it felt good to have something else to think about and to have that contact with colleagues. But as time went on, I started to struggle with increased pain, fatigue, brain fog and anxiety, so have made the difficult decision to stay off work for now.

So, where am I up to? Will I ever have HSCT?

The answer to the second question is that I really don’t know. The situation we are now in has really frightened me. There is no treatment for COVID 19. In severe cases, all the medics can do is treat symptoms and do all they can to keep you alive, whilst your immune system fights the virus. The immune system remains compromised for quite some time after HSCT and it can take 12-24 months for it to return to normal. If I were to catch the virus during that time, particularly in the early weeks and months, this would be very risky indeed.

Most clinics offering HSCT currently have their treatment programmes on hold because of this and there has been no treatments started in the UK, Europe or Russia during the last few weeks. Initially the clinic in Russia offered me a new date in July, but I don’t think it will be safe enough for me to do it then and I’ve recently heard that they are possibly closing until at least September. Looking forward, it’s hard to see a time when it will feel safe enough, with concerns about the journey home, particularly frighting.

So, everything is in limbo and I’m just doing my best to live with it!

Stay safe everybody ❤️

117 MS and HSCT online roundup

I am so glad to have this illness at a time when we have access to information, opinion and support online. If my only source of information was my neurologist, my life would be a complete mess by now!

I am a big supporter of the NHS, my parents were both GPs and I’ve been on marches to protest funding cuts, but … I really don’t think the NHS has it right yet, in managing chronic illness and supporting patients with long term health problems. It is common for MSers to have a long fight to be taken seriously, to be referred to a neurologist, to be diagnosed and then to receive appropriate treatment and support.

Meanwhile, in other parts of the world, rapid diagnosis and early treatment has been shown to be the best option for patients in terms of minimising progression and disability and the most cost effective for health services.

At present, I see my neurologist for 10 rushed minutes once per year. He doesn’t even ask me about new symptoms or my opinion on anything! It’s a very deflating experience and I don’t feel at all supported (probably not his fault – what can he do in 10 minutes?). I should have had access to an MS Nurse for ongoing support and advice for the last few years, but unfortunately my neurologist forgot to refer me and I have slipped through the net (despite numerous phone calls and requests from me).

I recently had an appointment with an Occupational Therapist, which has been a really positive experience. She has given me advice, access to equipment and most of all, she has listened to how MS affects my life. She has also managed to chase up the MS nurse service and they are finally acknowledging my existence! Thank you Hannah ?

I have learnt a lot about MS through reading and researching online. The MS Trust, MS-UK, Shift MS, the MS Society (amongst others) are all excellent sources of information and guidance. Another source of knowledge is Dr Aaron Boster, who is an Ohio based MS neurologist with a Youtube channel, where he seeks to educate and empower people with MS. Dr Boster works on the premise that neurologists and other practitioners working with MSers should have the goal of helping each person to be the “most awesome version of themselves”. I love this! I want to be the most awesome version of me that I can be! Here’s a short video in which he answers viewers questions on how to manage their MS symptoms …

There are many other videos on a variety of topics linked to MS on his YouTube channel … well worth a look if you, or someone you care about, has MS.

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I have spoken before about following the journey of Scott McCormick (Gogglebox) as he underwent HSCT at Hammersmith Hospital in London. Scott is recovering well, has had no further disease progression and is now back at work and enjoying life. He is doing all he can t raise awareness of HSCT.

He has written a couple of blog posts for MS-UK to summarise his experience …

Part 1 My neurologist tried to talk me out of having HSCT

Part 2 I was told to expect the worst I could imagine, and then some

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My main source of information, advice and personal accounts of those who are seeking or have had HSCT has been through the UK Facebook support group. This is a closed group for MSers and their supporters only.

I thought I’d share the link in case any fellow MSers are interested … link

Another source of support is a new UK charity, AIMS (Autoimmune and MultipleSclerosis), which was set up a little over a year ago. A group of MSers and their partners experienced the tough journey to access HSCT and they set up AIMS as a means of helping others on that journey. They are now a flourishing charity and have started rolling out travel grants to those of us having to go abroad for treatment.

You can read more on their website here. I would recommend anyone who wants to know more about the treatment, to read their excellent summary “What is HSCT?”. AIMS also have an active social media presence and can be found on Facebook and Twitter …please follow them and share with your friends.

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On Monday it will be just 6 weeks until I set off on my journey to Moscow in an attempt to stop my MS progressing further. I’m feeling really positive about my decision and so grateful for the support of my family and friends ❤️

I’m a little tired and stressed, but this is more about the worry of getting myself and my home ready and managing all the planning and practicalities involved.

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We are still fundraising and have a long way to go before we reach the total needed to fund my treatment. A family member is kindly lending me the outstanding funds as I am worried about delaying my treatment any further. This means that I will be continuing to fundraise after my treatment so that I can repay my loan.

My journey to Russia begins on Monday 16th March and we are holding a fundraising fare well tea party on Sunday 8th March. We’re still finalising the details and will share those with you soon, but please put the date in your diary … we’d love you to come along and bring your friends and family ?

GoFundMe

8 Walking sticks, trecking poles and hand rails

It took me perhaps a little longer than it ought to, to get myself a walking stick.

My balance has gradually deteriorated over the last few months …at first I didn’t really notice, then I was in denial, then focussed my efforts on hiding it …this was all pretty exhausting. Some days, just staying upright or walking in a straight line takes so much effort and concentration that I have little energy for anything else!

So I bought myself a walking stick.

It took a bit of getting used to at first, but using it has increased my confidence and taken a little bit of stress out of daily life. Of course, until I have my walking stick lesson, who knows if I’m actually doing it right?!

Although I accept that my mountaineering days are over, I very occasionally like a slightly more challenging walk and for this, I have recently bought some trecking poles. Yesterday I had the opportunity to road test them for the first time. When I say “road” test, I actually mean “wobbly path, uneven ground, random slopes, tree roots and torrential rain” test …the trecking poles were great! Usually I’d need help walking on this kind of terrain but yesterday I managed the whole walk on my own (well, almost!). Thank you Connor, Sophie and Odin ?

So, what have I learnt from all this? …it is better to make adaptations that will help me get on with my life, rather than resisting these options and doing less.

I saw my MS Nurse recently and she offered to refer me to a service who will come and assess my needs at home, with a view to providing handrails where needed. A few months ago I would have totally rejected this idea but now realise this is a good thing. I had a bit of a fall down my stairs a few days ago and still have the bruises …improved handrails definitely needed!