Tag: vaccine

138 Turn and face the strange

David Bowie * Changes

Here I am blogging from somewhere new, but not strange.  My life, on the other hand, definitely feels strange. Last week I left my lovely little home and moved in with my brother and his family 125 miles away. This is a temporary measure, until my new bespoke park home bungalow is finally ready.  Issues linked to lockdown, followed by Brexit, followed  by further lockdown, have caused a delay, which I’m told could be anything from days to weeks to months.  I am having to learn to be patient. 

It has been a busy and stressful few months getting my house packed up into boxes, selling and giving away unwanted items and moving things to Niamh’s house for storage.  This had to be quite a gradual process, given that I live on my own, am disabled and we are in the middle of a pandemic.  Connor, Niamh, Sophie and Callum have been amazing – lifting and moving things, taking stuff to the tip and moving packed boxes for storage.  We managed all of this whilst being as covid safe as we could – masks, hand washing, social distancing and ventilation. It wasn’t easy, but we did it … I’m so grateful to my little team of hard working helpers ?

By the end of February, I was beginning to feel as if I was camping out in my own home! Bare walls, minimal furniture, a few kitchen basics and a lot of making do, became my way of life.  The whole experience of streamlining my belongings and living in a rather minimalist way for a while, really highlighted to me, just how much “stuff” we have, much of which we don’t really need (or is that just me?).

Unfortunately, my cats, Ziggy and Luna did not cope well with all these changes.  Ziggy can freak out at a chair being in a different place, so you can imagine how he coped with every room constantly changing.  He is also sensitive to loud noises and sounds of people moving about in another part of the house.  I have no idea how I ended up with such a neurotic cat! 

By the time moving day came, I was ready to go.  My home no longer felt like home and my cats were on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  As I haven’t driven such a long way for quite a while, my children offered to drive me, my cats, my car and my belongings to Herefordshire and deliver me to my new temporary home.  

To add to the complexities of the day, I was booked in for my first Covid vaccine on the same morning.  Perhaps not the best timing, but I am grateful to have been offered it so soon and continue to be thankful to all the scientists, medics and volunteers who have helped to get us to this point.


So here I am for the next few days/weeks/months until my new home is ready.  I am settling into rural life and very much enjoying the peace and quiet. Anna and Zeb (niece and nephew) have already taught me the names of various garden birds and last weekend we had a picnic and found a rope swing … this doesn’t happen often in Stockport!

Whilst in the midst of all this sorting and packing, I have also officially informed work that I am not fit to return and have submitted my application to Teacher Pensions for their consideration (along with 5 pages of notes explaining how my MS affects my ability to work and 17 items of documentary evidence – doctors letters, hospital notes etc). 

It has been an awful lot of change in a very short space of time, so perhaps it is no wonder I am feeling a little unsettled and out of sorts.  I am also a little “homesick” for a home that no longer exists for me, which is hard to get my head around. When I bought my house, I thought it would be my forever home.  I loved its quirky old fashionedness, the local community and location.  When I started this job, I thought it would be my forever job! I loved the work and my team and my office was just three miles from my forever home. I was hoping to feel settled, to take time to get my house exactly how I wanted it, to focus on myself and to plan new adventures.  But my MS had a different plan and decided to deprive me of both my home and my job all in one go.  I have spent much of the last year feeling heartbroken about this, but am now starting to feel optimistic for the future, whatever that may be … I am turning to face the strange … and it’s ok.  

Big thanks to Jimmy, Gill, Anna and Zeb for taking me in during my hour of need.  Also thanks to William (the cat) who is now having to share his home with two neurotic visitors. 

136 New year, new blog post


Happy New Year everyone. Thank goodness 2020 is over – it has been a dreadful year all across the world and I don’t feel I can begin a new year blog post without first acknowledging the huge loss and suffering the COVID-19 pandemic has caused to so many. Over 1.8 million lives have been lost to the virus worldwide (over 73 thousand in the UK), with many more left with debilitating health problems and organ damage following recovery from the virus itself. 

Another consequence of the pandemic has been the numerous lockdowns and other restrictions we have all had to cope with for many months. The practical impact and mental health consequences of this have been enormous and it’s going to take us all a long time to recover.

But 2021 is here at last! The start of a new year always brings new hope and perhaps resolve to work towards a better future. This is how I’m choosing to view today.


I have discovered a lot about myself this year.  Perhaps enduring long periods of solitude forces us to look inward and to question things more.  I have found that I am more self sufficient than I thought and despite having many down days, I have managed to pick myself up and do something about it.  Perhaps the greatest thing I have learnt is that it is no use hanging on to things/situations that no longer serve you, even if you believe everyone expects that you should. My two big decisions (taking ill health retirement and moving house) have come from this.  I realised I was putting all my energies and focus on to hanging on to my work and my home, but that both of these were causing me harm and leaving nothing for any other aspects of my life. I’m still very sad about both, but glad to have made these decisions and confident that I am doing what is right for me. 

It’ll be while until both of these come to fruition, so I’m planning to spend the next few months doing all I can to get myself ready.  Despite living alone, I have eaten and drank for too much over the last few weeks (stressful times often lead to comfort eating for me) … now need to get a grip! When your body doesn’t quite function as it should, carrying extra weight adds further stress to a messed up system. 


I’m not one for new year resolutions but by the end of January, I plan to be eating healthily, back in a proper sleep routine and moving a bit more.  And I still have a lot of sorting and packing to do too! Plenty to keep me busy. 

The other thing I have realised during this year of lockdowns, is how important people are to me, well, actually I already knew this, but this time of reflection has doubled me belief. We don’t need lots of “things” in our lives, we need authentic connection with people who mean something to us.  So, when life returns to “normal”, I’m going to focus on time with good people to help recover from this last year and invest in a better future. At this point, I’d like to say a massive thank you to friends and family who been such a great source of support. I’m not always good at staying in touch, but I do appreciate hearing from you and think of you all often.

Recent news of vaccine rollout has given us all a boost … light at the end of the tunnel at last! I think I am in group 6 on this priority list, so may still have some time to wait (but that’s fine).  


So I am starting the new year on my own, in England Tier 4 (lockdown by another name) with some feelings of trepidation, but mostly optimism for the year ahead, at least once these first few months are over. 

HSCT is still forever in my mind, although it’s obviously on the back burner for now.  The hospital in Sheffield has not resumed treatment for MSers since it was suspended in the summer; I am uncertain of the situation in London.  I know a few have braved the journey to Mexico over the last few months and others are going soon.  The hospital in Russia is continuing to treat a few patients, however, travel restrictions mean it is impossible to get there at the moment (if I understand correctly, the Russian authorities are not currently issuing visas to UK passport holders). 

I’d like to end by sharing a picture of a Facebook conversation with my friend Beth, who has recently learnt the art of Tarot reading.  This was the outcome of a little online card picker she set up.  Fingers crossed ??????

Take good care of yourselves and try to stay positive if you can.  If that doesn’t work for you at the moment, accept where you are and know that you don’t have to be strong all the time, just do your best to keep going (an achievement in itself when life is a challenge).

❤️