I’ve been a bit unsure on whether to keep updating this blog at the moment. My treatment is on hold, life is on hold, in fact all our lives are on hold, the whole world is on hold. What strange times for us all.
I’m going to keep writing, because it really helps me to do so. I don’t mind at all if no one reads!
Well I’m now on day 18 of isolation and this time has been strange, interesting, unsettling, boring, frightening, calming and a million other things. The first few days were really tough. It really felt that I would never see my friends and family again, I was scared I wouldn’t cope being entirely in my own and I was worried about what will happen with my MS while waiting for the world to go back to normal.
Since then, I have managed to get myself into a new routine, to get on with work, to do a few jobs in the house and to mostly stay positive. There are times when it’s really hard. My little house can feel huge and empty and at other times, small and oppressive. Sometimes I feel desperately lost and alone, but powerless to do anything about it. I have lovely friends and family in my life and appreciate every single one of them. I have numerous people I could call or text or message but somehow I don’t – this is something I am working on. Most of the time I feel fairly upbeat, positive and optimistic. I feel grateful for what I have … my lovely home, my crazy cats, a job I love, my fantastic workmates and most of all, my friends and family. But sometimes the misery grabs me. I’ve always been like this but have always had options to go out do something, make plans, distract myself …it’s not easy to do that when you’re stuck inside your own four walls with only cats for company!
This is so true. Right now I am safe and I feel luck to be safe. I am able to carry on working from home and I have daily remote contact with lots of people. I know I am in a much better position than many are at the moment. I am only leaving the house for a daily walk in the local area and Niamh is doing my food shopping for me. I can manage like this for as long as I need to.
I am trying to push myself to walk every day, even when I don’t really feel like it and I’m finding that it really does lift my spirits. I have enjoyed spotting children’s pictures in windows and noticing all the good things about where I live.
I am lucky to live close to a beautiful park and am visiting when I can manage it.
I realise that we are all going through a period of adjustment at the moment and we are all still processing everything we are dealing with and the rapidly changing world in which we live. This will be taking a toll on us, even on a subconscious level. When we are unsettled by change, it’s the stability of relationships that gets us through. But relationships don’t quite feel right from a distance and that’s why I miss people so much and feel a bit out of kilter.
So, how am I managing my time?
Well I have discovered I feel much better when I stick to some sort of routine, so I continue to get up at my usual time and go to bed at my usual time. I am working from home 4 days a week, which is helping to keep me grounded and gives a sense of purpose. On the other days, I’m doing the usual housework, talking to friends and family, talking to my cats, trying a bit of yoga and meditation and making lists on all sorts of topics. There are a few jobs at home, like putting pictures up, that I haven’t got round to doing and I’m telling myself how lucky I am to have all this spare time To get these things done …I just need to muster up the motivation to actually do it!
If anyone has any top tips for coping with isolation, suggestions for new hobbies or activities I could try or ideas on how I can use this time to better myself, please send them my way.
I also have an important decision to make …do I cut my fringe or let it grow?!
